


can't see the end of this (just wanna feel your kiss)

by TheJGatsby



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabbles, Ficlets, M/M, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 01:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7915999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJGatsby/pseuds/TheJGatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finnlo drabbles and tumblr prompts</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't see the end of this (just wanna feel your kiss)

**Author's Note:**

> From a [tumblr post](http://thejgatsbykid.tumblr.com/post/149537047677/kylo-wouldnt-like-those-chips-since-my-brain-had):  
> "So like, past secret relationship Finn/Kylo. A secret relationship that had only just started when Finn defected. Skip ahead, some godforsaken cave or transport or lean-to. It’s raining. They’re both bloody and bruised and too tired to fight anymore and Kylo’s just about decided that it’s not worth fighting anymore.
> 
> And then he looks at Finn and asks, “Why wasn’t I enough to make you stay?”"
> 
> Title from "i hate u, i love u" by gnash

It’s pouring rain- torrential, really, and that’s saying something on  _ this  _ planet, where it’s almost never dry. Inside, the roar of the downpoar is distant and muffled, replaced instead by a steady drip from the leaky cavern ceiling. There’s a glowrod sitting in the middle of the room, not doing much but throwing shadows on the walls, sharp impressions of rocks and the two men sitting tersely across from each other.

“Are you sure you don’t want any?” Finn asks, offering the jar of bacta.

Kylo Ren swipes his fist across his mouth, more smearing the blood dripping from his lips than wiping it off. “I didn’t the last three times you asked and I don’t now,” he says darkly, glaring into the corner of the cave.

Finn ducks his head, awkward, and fumbles to put the lid back on the jar, stowing it in his pack. “Just thought I’d offer,” he mumbles, mostly to himself.

“Why? We’re just going to try to kill each other when the rain lets up anyway.” Kylo stretches one leg out, resting his forearm across his bent knee. “We’re enemies. It’s what we do.”

Hurt flashes across Finn’s face. “Is that really what you think? Ben-”

“You  _ don’t _ get to call me that,” Kylo snarls, turning his dagger gaze on Finn.

Finn hardens, straightens his shoulders. “Fuck you,” he says, with all the fury he can muster.

“ _ Me _ ? I’m not the one who  _ left _ !” Kylo snaps, rising to his feet.

“I left for good reasons!” Finn says, standing as well, coming up a full head shorter than him.

“Like what? You didn’t want to kill? What do you think happens when you fire your Resistance blaster, then? Do you set it to stun on the battlefield?” There’s a beat of silence, and then Kylo deflates, his shoulders slumping inwards. “You would, though,” he says, mostly to himself. “You always were better than the rest of us.”

“I didn’t believe in the First Order,” Finn says, without heat. “I didn’t have a place there.”

“You did,” Kylo protests immediately. “With me.”

Finn looks like he’s been punched. “Ben-”

“Why?” he asks, more heartbroken than curious, eyes beseeching behind the cuts and bruises, the scar crossing his face. “Why wasn’t I enough to make you stay?”

Finn’s eyes search Kylo’s face for an answer, his arm twitching as if to reach out but abandoning the motion before it can begin.

“I loved you,” Kylo says, small.

“I know,” Finn replies.

Kylo collapses onto his knees, burying his face in his hands, and it takes all Finn has not to go to him. “That’s why I left,” Finn says, quietly. “I couldn’t be the man you loved and the stormtrooper they wanted at the same time. I had to choose.” He sits down against the cave wall, knees drawn up to his chest.

“What’s the point in being the man I love if you’re not around for me to love you?”

Finn looks away, helpless, conflicted. The rain pours outside.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](http://thejgatsbykid.tumblr.com)!


End file.
